FIFTY – FIFTY

Dowry is the worst of all social evils that bedevil the young fisher women in their lives. Many remain as eternal spinsters as their parents are unable to give handsome dowry. The agony of helpless parents of lasses is unbounded. The girls who get stuck at home, for want of wealth to part with as dowry often quarrel with parents and relatives when they see their companions get on with married life after giving a dowry.

To ward off tension and agony in the families many parents of such ill-starred girls resort to borrowing money for hefty interest and land themselves into an unfathomable trap of eternal misery. A few others who possess petty pieces of land either pledge them for high interest or sell them outright to make good the dowry they have to part with and thereby impoverish themselves.

The dowry system prevailing in the community throws considerable strain on Parava womenfolk —especially on widowed mothers, who suffer the most as most of them invariably resort to hawking fish traversing sandy roads braving winds, rains and sun to streets that meander far far away from their home . One of the girls interviewed by the author uttered in anguish “ A society that does not demand dowry is heaven”. It is heart rending to see the peccadilloes of families who have girls to be married off but who have little means to make good the dowry.

In defense of dowry system, a few would say that dowry is given to safeguard the interest of the bride in her married life. But it should be in all fairness stated that what was started with good intention has degenerated into an un-praiseworthy practice to establish male hegemony.

The dowry rate is recording a spiral up day by day( the author wrote this in 1997.- ED). FIFTY– FIFTY is the new formula spoken off and adopted. Fifty sovereign of gold and fifty thousand rupees. Those with regular, assured, and monthly income demand more than fifty- fifty. It ranges from Rs. 50,000 to one lakh, and from fifty to hundred sovereigns. Those who do not drink are given a higher dowry. ( A Virtue Rewarded? –ED).

The increase in dowry is more pronounced from 1970s. The reason is not far to seek. It was the time, fishing was mechanized and one needed money to equip fishing infrastructure—like boats, motors, new type of nets, ice bars etc. Those who possessed these gave the dowry; and those who needed, demanded and got it.

The curious aspect of the dowry system is that it pleases both the giver and the receiver. It lends “prestige” to both in public, though it is agonizing for the giver. The giver gloats on the dowry he had given; and the receiver vaunts aloud about the goodies and jewels her daughter in law had brought–T.V. Mixie , Grinder,Motor cycle etc.

A consolation yet, is that there are people who demand and give less than fifty fifty .

( One hopes with advancement of education, and employment of girls,and most importantly with the change in the mindset of mothers of grooms, the dowry system would disintegrate and die. – Ed)

(This article is an extract from the M. Phil thesis of DECLA)

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